ADHD (8): You can do anything, but not everything at the same time
OK, so… how do I cover this?
Let’s start with what a “good life” looks like. You have to eat well, exercise, be productive, have good sleep discipline, be better tomorrow than you are today, look after your mental health, learn new things whenever possible, do things you enjoy, have good finances (not rich, but not struggling), and keep a good house — physically and financially.
All of that in one day? Are you kidding? Jesus, most of us can’t even manage a day’s work and some shopping.
For someone with ADHD, trying to tick all of those “good life” boxes in one day is like trying to complete Dark Souls blindfolded while riding a unicycle that’s on fire.
Sure, we want to exercise, eat well, sleep properly, be productive, socialise, tidy the house, meditate, hydrate, budget, learn something new, and still be charming by bedtime. But the reality is we’ll hyperfocus on reorganising a sock drawer for three hours, forget to eat, stay up past midnight researching solar flares, and suddenly remember we were supposed to go for a run… next Thursday.
Our brains basically say, “Pick one virtue today, mate — the rest can get in line.” And honestly, that’s alright.
The good life for ADHD isn’t doing everything every day. It’s doing something consistently enough that life moves forward, then bolting extras onto that.
Trying to Do It All
Over time I’ve done it all — the eating, the exercise, all of it. The thing is, I’ve never been able to keep it all up for an extended period.
There was a time when I was weight training on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, doing martial arts on Wednesday evenings, shooting on Monday evenings, and also working full time. I was so busy that my Mrs started complaining she never saw me.
It was my fault — I took what she said seriously and gave some of it up, then the rest just fell apart. Then later down the line she complained that I “didn’t have any hobbies.” Make of that what you will.
Looking back now, I understand that for me it is almost impossible to stick to a routine of any kind and — this is very important — I embrace that.
I EMBRACE that shit!
It is who I am.
It is the way I live.
There is no real point in me trying to force myself to do this or that every day when it always ends with the bitter sting of failure — something we are all very, very familiar with.
What I Do Instead
So what do I do instead?
I live the way I feel is best for me.
- Eat well – Meat, veg, leafy greens, fruit. Cut the sugar down.
- Exercise – I work on the tools for three days a week carrying 20kg flooring boards.
- Be productive – I run a business. I’m always being productive.
- Be better tomorrow than today – Journalling does that for me.
- Look after your mental health – Get away from it all and give less fucks.
(Oops… just went into the kitchen to get a drink of cranberry juice and ended up doing the washing up.)
Small Moves Count
The thing is, you don’t have to — nor should you try to — live by a strict regime and be rock hard on yourself to get things done.
When you go to the supermarket, park as far away from the door as you can and get some extra steps in.
Out for a meal? Have chicken or fish and a salad instead of chips.
Consider what can be done now and what can’t.
The Moral of the Story
The moral of the story is simple.
If you try to carry too much, you’ll drop it all. So only carry a few things at a time, and then, once you’ve taken a few steps, add something else to the pile.
Join me next week when we cover:
“Self-worth – Why your achievements feel like other people’s failures.”
Video Version