How Your ADHD Will Drive Your Other Half Round the Bend!
Well, where do I even start with this? We all love to wind our other halves up, but most of the time it’s just banter.
When you throw ADHD into a relationship on either side, you are asking for trouble. This can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you — or your other half — is.
Here are some of the things you know you’ve done to your other half:
Attention
You look like you're listening, but instead you’re imagining that scene from the Jack Black King Kong film where he beats the hell out of three T-Rexes.
How to deal with that?
Don’t deny it. Tell the truth: “Sorry, I drifted off there for a bit — can you explain that again please?”
Time
Time blindness — always late, underestimating how long things take, forgetting to do things. It devalues other people and makes them feel like their time isn’t important.
How to deal with that?
Use — and stick to — a portable calendar.
Emotions
Big reactions. Lightning-fast mood switches. Taking rejection badly. You don’t have a dimmer switch on your emotions — you feel them deeply and quickly.
How to deal with that?
Your other half may feel like they’re walking on eggshells or living under a daily thunderstorm. But they also get passion and spontaneity. It’s a give and take — if both people understand that.
Chaos
ADHD and structure don’t naturally coexist. Some of us overcorrect and become ultra tidy. Others live in piles of “plans.”
How to deal with that?
Create safe zones — a shed, an office, a space where you can exist without causing friction. Use the mantra: Finish what you’ve started first.
Communication
When stressed, you fire off at 70 degrees. You talk fast, jump topics, and get frustrated when the other person can’t keep up.
How to deal with that?
Explain that your mind is like a fast-flowing river. If you don’t say it now, it may be gone forever. Consider a “pause word” that forces a reset in heated conversations.
I will say this: my marriage failed. After 20 years, she couldn’t cope. We now see each other occasionally, but even that is reducing.
ADHD in relationships is powerful — but unmanaged, it can be destructive.
Next week: ADHD Myths.
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